It
has been a while I didn’t update myself. Well, I’ve been very, very busy
lately. Whether be it in the office or at home. Weekdays or weekend seems like
not enough for me to cover whatever I’ve left out. I’m trying my best to catch
up with whatever time I have.
In
the office, I don’t even have a spare time like before. Like before means just
before my beautiful Angel left the office. Feels like very much handicapped
without her in the office. It’s like losing some part of me. No inspiration and
no motivation to look for. Everyday is just like just another ordinary day. No
adventure. No feeling. No smiles. Nothing. Empty. No soul. All others gave a fake smile. A fake face. There's no heart in them. There's no chemistry with them. I can't sense existence among them. Not like the Angel of my heart before. She always notice me. Even when I'm upset but smiling, she can sense it. She knows if I'm happy, if I'm sad, if I'm down. It's just like having a telepathy conversation with someone out there. Enough of that bullshit.....hahahaha.
Plus a lot of sickness attacks
others too in this month. What to do? This is how working with majority ladies above 30’s.
Monthly sickness. But the worst is, there’s also a male that is more sick than
the ladies. Working with less staff giving too much pressure to my life.
Sometimes, I’m waiting for my boss to act stupidly to me so that I can explode
as maximum as I can. But my conscious is still within me. The worst May in my
life.
Come
June, I always get emotional in the month of June. Emotional doesn’t means it
is a sad emotion. It can be a happy emotion too. A lot emotional things in my
life happens in June. Why? I also have no idea. But I always suspect that it
all happens because of a girl name Jun. Full name Junaidah. I think she’s the
reason why always become emotional in June. Who is this Jun? huh…… what can I
explain. I believe, she’s my first crush of my heart. Funny heh? What had
happen? Nothing. We were too young to understand what is love crush. When I say
too young, I mean, really, really young. I just can’t elaborate more on this as
this thing happens 35 years ago.
Then
one more thing happens in June. My first away from home experience. It was a
June intake. This was the first time in my life I’m away from home, furthering
my studies up in the northern district. I was on my own. My parents can’t
afford to send me more than the airport. It was a very sad moment in my life
but in the same time also I feel free. There are no longer parents to nag me
around. College. This is place that I learn the fact of life. The place I learn
how to survive in this world without money, without family, without morale
support and the worst, without guidance. This college life is also the place that I
met Azizah for the first time. A girl that changed the whole direction of my
life. She’s not that beautiful but she’s GORGEOUS. I just can’t get my eyes off
her everytime she’s around. With her fair skin. Beautiful sparkling eyes. Nice
lips. Pointing nose. Tall. Perfect body. Bla…bla…bla….she’s not Barbie doll
okay. I still remember the first time I saw her. She’s wearing white “baju
kurung”, walking slowly towards an empty chair in front of me. Her smile caught
my eyes. She said “Hi” to me, and I just smile. No sounds manage to escape from
my throat, and guess what. This all happens in the month of June. I tried my best ability, which is sucks to woo her. But her heart is with someone else. I think she's the first girl I ever express my feeling to, and I got rejected on the spot. .... hey wait, isn't Mona was the first? And Aishah was the second. Goshh.... forgotten. But the favorite song "Aku Pun Tahu" from Wings ruled us.
The lyric: -
"engkau punya cita-cita.....
aku punya mimpi .....
Dapatkah kita mendirikan
Percantuman mahligai
Cita-cita dan mimpi"
The meaning of this song was so deep that everytime I look back hearing this song, I wished that I can turn back the time, before I met her. I just want to set my goal right. My future would be totally on a different path. I guarantee that. That's why, I said, she changed my whole life path. Totally. And when I met her again now (in Facebook of course), there's a small tiny tiny whisper in my heart said, "Thank God, we are not together". She's holding some high position in the government and me? I'm here. Wish to have a drink with her someday remains buried deep on my heart.
What
else happen to me in June?
Got
bad news last year that changed the course of my future. Oh ya. Upgrade my old antique
IPhone to Samsung Galaxy S4 last year, and this year that fucking bloody heavy
phone got hardware problem. Now, it is living with a wire attached 25 hours a
day and never reach 100% chargeable percentage. I’m really pissed off. Limiting
my connection to the world.
And
one last thing but not the least but the most important event this year. 20 years ago, on this date, I got the job
that last till today. HAPPY 20th ANNIVERSARY to me. I know nobody
will care but what the heck. I’m celebrating it anywhere. Wish I can bring my
Angel for a lunch or the best, a dinner to celebrate this historic moment. But
of course, she will turn me down politely. Which I understand why. Probably.
June.
A month for Cancer horoscope. The Cancerian woman is sensitive - very sensitive - but not only to her needs, but to the needs of others, making her one of the most sympathetic and caring women of the Zodiac. If you criticize her she may very well take it personally and it may not be forgotten! She is a tidal force of perplexing emotion, and can be stubborn, compliant, furious, and docile, all in the same hour. Sex is a slow, sensual dance with the Cancer woman. She needs to have an emotional connection with her partner. She will trust you to lead and if you unlock the right moves, she can tango with the best of them. Her hidden flamboyance and responsiveness may be surprising, but remember that still waters run deep in your Cancer lover. She loves seduction and sensual fantasies. She enjoys being made love to and is eager to learn. Sex is always attuned with love for her, and bedroom encounters with this water sign are usually pure liquid pleasure. When oh when can I have SEX with her?
Let’s see. I’ve covered 29% of things happened to me in June. And one more thing, it’s Angie’s (mmuahhh...love you) birthday also in this month. And Joanna. And Safarina too. And Naomi, Diana, Mimi and also Amy. Happy birthday belated and in advance to all. SMILE.
Adios.
